Doctor visit

Jan. 13th, 2026 10:13 pm
silver_chipmunk: (Default)
[personal profile] silver_chipmunk
Got up at 10:00 today and had breakfast and coffee, then showered and dressed. Then I killed time until 1:15 when I took an Uber over to my surgeon for my every six months checkup.

I got there a bit early an settled in to wait, this is after all the doctor's where I once waited like two hours to be seen. But they got to me at only about 15 minutes after my appointment time.

They weighed me and took my blood pressure and then the surgeon gave me a very thorough breast exam. We discussed books too, which was nice.

All is well and she gave me the order for my annual mammogram and sonogram in April, and also my every two years bone density scan in April. And I go back to see her in July.

Then I took an Uber home. I texted the Kid, to let her know what the doctor said, and she replied.

For the rest of the day I did various things that I need to get done for tomorrow, leaving for Arisia. I cleaned the cat pan, I put more water in the turtle tank, I cleaned the bowls that will be used for food and water for Oreo. I took the kitty litter and empty litter box out and walked around the block.

At 7:00 I Teamed the FWiB though we had technical difficulties. We talked until a bit before 8:00 when I got off to have my Al-anon meeting by Zoom. That went very well indeed, though M wasn't there.

After that I had dinner, and went and charged my phone. [personal profile] mashfanficchick called and we are talking now as I type, discussing tomorrow and Arisia.

I fed the pets and started here.

Gratitude List:

1. The FWiB.

2. Good report from the surgeon.

3. Got stuff done.

4. Found my Enterprise pendent necklace to wear.

5. My cold is better.

6. Arisia in two days!

Tuesday word: Mountweazel

Jan. 13th, 2026 01:30 pm
simplyn2deep: (iRead!)
[personal profile] simplyn2deep posting in [community profile] 1word1day
Tuesday, January 13, 2026

Mountweazel (noun)
mountweazel [mount-wee-zuhl]


noun
1. a decoy entry in a reference work, such as a dictionary or encyclopedia, secretly planted among the genuine entries to catch other publishers in the act of copying content.

Origin: First recorded in 1975–80; from a fictitious entry in the fourth edition of the New Columbia Encyclopedia, Lillian Virginia Mountweazel, who supposedly died on assignment while covering an explosion for the fictitious Combustibles magazine

Example Sentences
She thought it was Karen Tweedy-Holmes — who, she informed me, was also the creator of Lillian Virginia Mountweazel.
From Washington Post

Turning from fountain design to photography in 1963, Mountweazel produced her celebrated portraits of the South Sierra Miwok in 1964.
From Washington Post

As it turned out, Ms. Mountweazel was also introduced to the world in the NCE.
From Washington Post

“As the one on Ms. Mountweazel shows, the writers and editors on the fourth edition were a literate and somewhat fun bunch,” he said, “but perhaps a little too bored with the faux Civil War generals that I was told once provided protection against cribbing.”
From Washington Post

However, no one had ever informed him that the glitch was a mountweazel.
From Washington Post

Argh

Jan. 13th, 2026 11:36 am
cathrowan: (Default)
[personal profile] cathrowan
If I send a "save the date" message and say I am finalizing the details, more info later, and I don't include the venue, why would you write to ask me what the venue is? Can you not figure out that I don't have that info yet?

Hi

Jan. 12th, 2026 10:32 pm
ciacconne: (Default)
[personal profile] ciacconne posting in [community profile] addme_fandom
 Name:  Ciacconne 

Age: Mid 30s. 


I mostly post about: My life, health, and fandom. 


My hobbies are: Writing, reading, gaming, and art. 


My fandoms are: HP, FF16, FF7, Frieren, Slayers, Gintama, Kekkai Sensen, YGO. 


I'm looking to meet people who: wanna talk about life and fandom stuff. 


My posting schedule tends to be: Daily. 
 

When I add people, my dealbreakers are: Antis. 


Before adding me, you should know: I post about my health, be it mental or physical, 

prepping

Jan. 12th, 2026 10:59 pm
paperghost: (Default)
[personal profile] paperghost
My next paycheck is tomorrow, and it's going to be the pay from how much I worked on Christmas. So this is going to be a fat one. My hours later this month were cut, but doing some basic calculations tell me that the paychecks will be average, not terrible. This paycheck will likely carry me before the next mid ones this month. Hopefully my hours in early February will be decent, since my paycheck drops before the con lol. So tomorrow I'm going to buy my badge for Harmonycon, commission an artist for a badge, pay my personal bills a second time, pay household bills if they weren't already, and put some money aside property taxes later this year. Depending on how much money I have left after required stuff, I may donate to KHinsider since I didn't on Christmas.

I unfortunately haven't gotten my W2 for last year yet because my job's internal system for that changed. Really annoying, because I requested 4 days off for Harmonycon (Feb 13-15 and the 16th to recharge before work), and I'd like to have that return as "padding" for my lost hours, lol. I read on Reddit that the W2s for other employees will be posted around the 15th? So I'll check later this week. I signed up for email alerts, but I never heard of this site W2s are posted on. JFC, what happened to mailing or being in the employee panel?

I'm close to done on my site rebrand, but I'm having trouble ripping the bandaid off. I'm redoing my about page, and when I finish that I'll start my "offline tour" before I swap URLs, send out emails, and be free from now on. Harmonycon is an all ages event so I won't leave advertisements for my site there, but I'm considering printing stickers of my art to leave around the Hyatt for funzies. I'm debating on leaving a signature on them though, since I don't have an "all ages" platform now that DeviantART is in the shitter. OTOH, the Harmonycon Discord is mostly adults and older teenagers, I doubt there's going to be many kid-kids lol?

On that note, I popped in the Harmonycon Discord and saw someone from Sonic Expo there, which is something I'm starting to really enjoy about going to local cons. Obviously they're HUGE and have thousands of people, but local stuff will have recurring vendors and faces. An artists alley vendor at TFF/TFS was at Sonic Expo and recognized me, even. lol. After Harmonycon I'll request time off for TFF. Two cons in February and March makes me feel hectic but I need the minor stress to focus.

My inbox has been piling up. It's past 11PM but I have an afternoon-evening shift tomorrow so I can stay up late. I won't go to bed until I clear it out, lol.

EDIT: I AM DONE!!!!! FINALLY!!! When I was up I'm going to answer some Discord DMs, and hopefully send more out. I am not spending this year in hiding.

Recovery day

Jan. 12th, 2026 10:40 pm
silver_chipmunk: (Default)
[personal profile] silver_chipmunk
Spent the day mostly in bed to shake the cold. I think it's helped a lot. Tomorrow I think I'll be OK>

I was woken up at 8:00 by the oncologist's office conforming that I could switch my appointment on the 21st to 9:30 so RK can bring me. I took the call and went back to bed. My alarm went off at 10:00, but I didn't get up until somewhat after 11:00 when my doorbell buzzed and I realized it was probably the Shipt order I put in last night. Which it was.

So I put that away and had breakfast and coffee. Then I puttered online for a couple of hours, and then took a nap for a bit. I got a phone call from my surgeon that I needed a referral for tomorrow's appointment and so I called the doctor and arranged that.

I did do one positive thing. I started packing for Arisia. All my clothes are now packed, and my masks.

The Kid called, we had a short conversation. She thinks I did good yesterday. So I'm happy about that.

At 7:00 I Teamed the FWiB but we were interupted towards the end of our conversation by two of his siblings calling. So we got off then and I had dinner and went to the bedroom, and called [personal profile] mashfanficchick. We talked a bit, and then ze called back a little later.

RK texted, he's good with the time for the oncologist appointment.

Then it was time to feed the pets so I did that. And that's how it was today.

Gratitude List:

1. The FWiB.

2. The Kid.

3. Got that appointment changed.

4. Arranged for the referral.

5. Packed for Arisia.

6. The cold is better.

(no subject)

Jan. 12th, 2026 10:54 pm
tellshannon815: (toni)
[personal profile] tellshannon815
This is getting annoying now, is DW on a go slow and giving error messages for anyone else?

Not quite sure why I'm typing this as it probably won't post!

(no subject)

Jan. 12th, 2026 09:49 pm
tellshannon815: (acosta)
[personal profile] tellshannon815
two log cabins with snow on the roofs in a wintery forest the text snowflake challenge january 1 - 31 in white cursive text

Top 10 Challenge. The category(ies) you choose are up to you. You can give top 10 Fics you read last year, the top 10 songs to create to, the to 10 guest stars on your favorite show, top 10 characters in your favorite book series, top 10... well, you get the idea.


So, I'm in the UK, and last week two of the UK soap operas did a big crossover episode, with viewers getting the chance to vote for one particular scene to be included. So this has inspired me to think, which characters in my favourite fandoms would I want to have a scene together? Here are my top 10 crossover combinations. (If I've ever tackled these, which I have for some of them, I'm also linking the fic.


1: Rumple (Once Upon a Time) and Rowena Macleod (Supernatural)



Because ever since I first saw Rowena, I thought she and Rumple would have a lot of chemistry if they ever met and she is his true soulmate (Belle who?)

2: Mikkel Nielsen (Dark) and Jacob Landry (The Way Home)



Two characters who have found themselves trapped years in the past, they totally need to set up their own support group.

3: Daniel Faraday (Lost) and Walter Bishop (Fringe)



I might have put these two brilliant scientific minds together anyway, but when I made the connection that the psychiatric ward Walter was on happened to be in the same town where Daniel was living before he was recruited to the freighter, what could have made more sense than them having met at St Claire's?

https://archiveofourown.org/works/1039238

4: Olivia Dunham (Fringe) and Kate Austen (Lost)



Kate killed her abusive "stepfather" after finding out he was her biological father. Olivia shot hers, but he escaped. If Kate crossed Olivia's path, could Olivia bring herself to turn her in?

https://archiveofourown.org/works/44889379

5. Jack Shephard (Lost) and Boyd Stevens (From)



Two leaders, two men determined to fix things, these two have had similar struggles. (And the trope of Jack mistaking Boyd for Michael could also have potential.)

6. Jack Shephard (Lost) and August Booth (Once Upon a Time)



This one started out for a crossover exchange where August summoned Jack, a friend he made travelling in Phuket, to try and help break the curse. As I was writing it, I realised these two could bond over trying to meet the expectations of their fathers. (And hey, someone had to fix Stranger in a Strange Land, right?)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/685943

7. Charlie Pace (Lost) and John Mitchell (Being Human UK)



Both have gone through cold turkey, both have been the subject of a death prophecy. They need to bond.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/1250551

8. Lottie Matthews (Yellowjackets) and John Locke (Lost)



Both feeling a connection with the wilderness/jungle, both not wanting to leave - these two have common ground.

9. Dani Acosta (From) and Ana Lucia Cortez (Lost)



Both police officers who make rash decisions in the moment, both end up isolated in the community following an incident of shooting an innocent party believing them to be a villain. Acosta IS Ana Lucia 2:0.

10: Bobby Singer (Supernatural) and Donna Raines (From)



Before becoming trapped in the town, Donna was supposedly on a hunting trip. Ever since seeing some joking somewhere online that it was in fact demon hunting, I've kind of liked the idea of putting her with Bobby.

Monday Word: Jequirity

Jan. 12th, 2026 04:51 pm
stonepicnicking_okapi: letters (letters)
[personal profile] stonepicnicking_okapi posting in [community profile] 1word1day
jequirity [juh-kwir-i-tee]

noun

1. the scarlet and black seed of Indian licorice used in India and other tropical regions for beads in rosaries and necklaces and as a standard weight, also known as rosary pea
2. Indian licorice

examples
1. Late though it was, in the laboratory Kennedy set to work examining the dust which he had swept up by the vacuum cleaner, as well as the jequirity beans he had taken from Mrs. Anthony's jewel-case. The Treasure-Train by Arthur B. Reeve
2. The French oculist, Dr. de Wecker, was the first to employ jequirity for this purpose, in the form of a 24 hours’ maceration of the seeds, 10 grams to 500 grams of water.The Medicinal Plants of the Philippines by T. H. Pardo de Tavera

origin
Portuguese jequiriti, jequirití, perhaps of Indic origin; akin to Hindi rattī ratti

jequirity

Met the boyfriend's parents finally

Jan. 11th, 2026 11:11 pm
silver_chipmunk: (Default)
[personal profile] silver_chipmunk
I have a cold but it's not bad fortunately. I think it should be OK by the time we go to Arisia. Anyway, I got up at 9:00 after a restless night.

I had breakfast and coffee, and showered and dressed in the stuff I picked out yesterday. Then I walked to Main Street and Northern Blvd to get the 19 bus. Had to wait a good while but finally got it. Then I walked from the bus to the restaurant and got there early.

I found an open 99 cent store and browsed until 12:30 and then I went back to the restaurant, having been texted by the Kid about the reservation.

The Kid and her boyfriend and his parents showed up pretty quickly, and we had a very nice time, I spoke mostly to his mother because she was nearest to me. His father picked up the bill which was nice.

Then I tried to get home. I tried to take the subway but trouble finding it. I walked all around Astoria. I finally got to the station. Then I took the N to the 7 and the 20 bus home.

By then I was hungry again and had something to eat. Then I lay in bed til 7:00 when I Teamed the FWiB. [personal profile] mashfanficchick called while we were talking. Then at 8:30 I called Middle Brother. He went bowling on Friday and to Wendy's.

I had dinner and played solitaire in the bedroom. [personal profile] mashfanficchick called again and we have been talking about Arisia. I put in a Shipt order to be delivered tomorrow.

Gratitude List:

1. The FWiB.

2. Met the boyfriend's parents.

3. The meeting went well.

4. I finally found the subway.

5. Middle Brother had a good time bowling.

6. [personal profile] mashfanficchick

Sunday Word: Whitherward

Jan. 11th, 2026 09:53 pm
sallymn: (positivity 1)
[personal profile] sallymn posting in [community profile] 1word1day

whitherward [hwith-er-werd]

adjective:
(archaic) toward what or which place

Examples:

I felt him directing my looks to what I beheld, shaping my thoughts whitherward they went; but it pleased him to remain invisible. (William Young, Mathieu Ropars: et cetera)

Messire, whitherward is the stable? (Howard Pyle, The Story of Sir Launcelot and His Companions)

We see not whence the eddy comes, nor whitherward it is tending, and we seem ourselves to witness their flight without a sense that we are changed; and yet Time is beguiling man of his strength, as the winds rob the woods of their foliage. (Sir Walter Scott, Woodstock)

Arthur looked, and drew at the caitiff who went afoot beside Atra, and Birdalone at him who went by Viridis, for she wotted whitherward Arthur’s shaft would be turned. (William Morris, The Water of the Wondrous Isles)

We know not whom we trust
Nor whitherward we fare,
But we run because we must
Through the great wide air. (Charles Hamilton Sorley, 'The Song of the Ungirt Runners')

Origin:
Inherited from Middle English whiderward, from whider ('whither') from Old English hwider, from Proto-Germanic hwithre-, from hwi- 'who' (from PIE root kwo-) + ward (adverbial suffix of Germanic origin expressing direction or tendency to or from a point, Old English -weard 'toward,' sometimes -weardes (with genitive singular ending of neuter adjectives), from Proto-Germanic werda- (cognates: Old Saxon, Old Frisian -ward, Old Norse -verðr, German -wärts), variant of PIE werto- 'to turn, wind' (from root wer- (2) 'to turn, bend'). ) (Online Etymology Dictionary)

The earliest known use of the adverb whitherward is in the Middle English period (1150—1500). OED's earliest evidence for whitherward is from around 1175, in Ormulum. (Oxford English Dictionary)

Rainy Saturday

Jan. 10th, 2026 10:12 pm
silver_chipmunk: (Default)
[personal profile] silver_chipmunk
I slept very badly last night, got to bed at 2:00, woke up at 5:00, couldn't get back to sleep. At 7:00 I got up, had breakfast, and went back to bed, and slept til 9:30. So I am tired now.

Despite oversleeping I made it to my Al-anon meeting on time. It was very good. Then I went to the diner, getting a ride from S as usual.

At the diner I had a bacon, egg, and cheese on an English muffin, and a cup of tea. Very good.

It had started raining which was icky. I was luck enough not to have to wait long for either the 13 or 12 bus. But of course I had to walk from Parsons Blvd in the rain. Ugh.

I tried to go to the Starsky and Hutch chat by Zoom when I got in, there were issues with the computer though, and it took awhile. I finally did. It was interesting, and fun, and we talked later than usual, til almost 7:00.

Then I Teamed the FWiB, again there were some issues getting in but when I did it worked ok. We had a nice time.

After we got off, I caught up with my reading on the internet, and then had something to eat. Cheese and crackers, and some of the pickled herring from New Years. Then I quickly got my clothing together for tomorrow, which is when I'm finally meeting the Kid's boyfriend's parents.

I tried on the shoes I'm wearing, and located my clean black jeans, and picked out a short to wear. Then I found Mom's gold beads, and switched my wallet and stuff to my good purse. we are meeting at 12:30. I have to get directions from google maps. The Kid texted me this morning to tell me where and when we meet.

Then it was time to feed the pets, so I did that, and then started here.

Gratitude List:

1. The FWiB.

2. My meetings and the people there.

3. Made it on time.

4. Finally meeting the boyfriend's parents.

5. My meetings and the people there.

6. Bed soon.

Twilight Rain Shower

Jan. 10th, 2026 12:42 pm
frith: Realistic My Little Pony Twilight Sparkle via generative software (MLP EZ Make Twilight Sparkle)
[personal profile] frith posting in [community profile] ponyville_trot
Twilight_Rain_Shower_via_WaiNSFWIllustriousSDXL_by_Truekry
Source: https://tantabus.ai/images/43700
Pastiche machine generator: Wai_NSFW_Illustrious_SDXL. Prompter: Truekry.

Yet another princess pony, it's Twilight's turn in the rain. Truekry is in a rut. Makes typing out the filename easier. Remember when filenames had to be 8 characters or less? I do.

Stayed up too late last night

Jan. 10th, 2026 12:25 am
silver_chipmunk: (Default)
[personal profile] silver_chipmunk
After I wrote here didn't get to bed until 5:00 am. Slept til 10:00, woke up to be reminded that I had a therapy appointment at 10:30. So I stayed up and had my visit with the therapist, then went back to sleep for some hours. I forget what time it was when we both finally got up.

So we had breakfast/brunch/lunch of smoked fish and cream cheese on gluten free sandwich things, which was really delicious.

Then I took a shower and got dressed.

And then I remembered that I was supposed to call the oncologist and try to get my appointment changed so RK could take me. It was after 4:00 by then. I called, and got a call back time for 4:30. They called back by about 4:35, and I tried to get the appointment changed but the doctor had already left for the day so they couldn't make the appointment and will call me back Monday.

Then [personal profile] mashfanficchick and I went to Dunkin Donuts and had beverages, and then I left for my meeting.

I actually got ther with enough time to have my pizza for dinner before the meeting. The meeting was very good, we got two newcomers.

After the meeting, M drove me to the bus stop. He left me at 9:00, when the bus was supposed to come at 9:05. It didn't. It was nearly a half hour late. And my transit apps, both of them, were no help at all. I was very frustrated. Worse, it turns out the FWiB wasn't getting my emails , and so didn't email me. I was getting more and more frustrated.

The bus finally showed, and I got to 31st and Linden with only 5 minutes to wait til the 61 showed up. So I took that, and just t cement my bad mood, he didn't stop for my stop request until I said "Hey, the stop" and we were almost in the intersection.

The FWiB, not knowing I had been trying to get him for 45 minutes, sent me an annoyingly cheery message when he finally got one of mine. I snapped back, and snarled all the way home.

When he told me he hadn't gotten my other emails, I started to calm down, and [personal profile] mashfanficchick called me and we talked for a bit which completed the process.

Except that when I went to Team the FWiB, we had technical difficulties again. We finally got through to each other but I had the damn ding-ding-dinging of the Teams app giong through the whole call.

But I survived, and we had a nice chat. Then I got off and started here.

Now it's time for bed.

Gratitude List:

1. The FWiB.

2. [personal profile] mashfanficchick

3. My meetings and the people there.

4. The rain had stopped by the time I was waiting for the bus.

5. Smoked fish.

6. Bed soon.

(no subject)

Jan. 9th, 2026 11:56 pm
tellshannon815: (alison hendrix)
[personal profile] tellshannon815
Snowflake Challenge: A mug of coffee or hot chocolate with a snowflake shaped gingerbread cookie perched on the rim sits nestled amidst a softly bunched blanket. A few dried orange slices sit next to it.


On many of the fannish websites we use, our history is easily compileable into "pages". When we look back through those pages, sometimes we stumble upon things that we think are rather cool.

Challenge #4: Rec The Contents Of Your Last Page

Any website that you like, be it fanfiction, art, social media, or something a bit more eccentric!

Rather than actual last pages, since I feel like I've spent a lot of time the last couple of days tracking Storm Goretti (which oddly passed more or less right over me with very little impact in terms of snow), I'll just ramble that I've spent most time recently on my DW reading page, on Dark's fandom wiki to remind myself of Gretchen the dog's history for Challenge #2 as she was my chosen pet, and AO3.

Getting caught up.

Jan. 9th, 2026 09:27 pm
tellshannon815: (cisco)
[personal profile] tellshannon815
Snowflake Challenge: A warmly light quaint street of shops at night with heavy snow falling.

Today’s challenge is a chance to express your love to fandom, and what better way than a love letter? If you feel really creative, the letter doesn’t have to come from you. You could write as your favourite character, someone completely fictitious or your past or future self - or just as you in this moment.

Write a love letter to fandom. It might be to fandom in general, to a particular fandom, favourite character, anything at all.


To Dark,

You're complicated as hell, and I'm not over the fates that the vast majority of the characters ended up with in the finale (even though the family tree makes it difficult to see how it could easily end any other way. Believe me, I've spent the last two years trying to work out a way that I can do it for one particular fic.) But you have great casting (seriously, just take a look at the Young/Middle aged/Old actors. At least one of the actors playing an 81 year old version of one character still surprises people to this day that he's not the 48 year old version in makeup and a wig.) and characters, and have provided me with so much writing inspiration.

To Lost,

My first fandom, and still my all time favourite, the one that first got me exploring the backstories of lesser ficced characters (and trust me, you have a lot) and playing with timelines, the one that first led me to start getting to know other fans, and the one that still has some influence over a lot of my more recent fandom choices. (Except you, Mr. Smoke Monster. Even 15 years on, you can jog on.)

To From,

The other one of my all time top three, that I wish was more appreciated and better known, but trust me, I'm trying to rectify that. Loving the characters, enjoying the mystery (we are starting to get answers at this point, so it doesn't seem to be a "making it up as they go along" thing) and you were the source of my favourite piece of fandom merch (Jade's cat shirt).

Friday Word: Eucatastrophe

Jan. 9th, 2026 10:19 am
calzephyr: MLP Words (MLP Words)
[personal profile] calzephyr posting in [community profile] 1word1day
Eucatastrophe - noun.

Coined by J.R.R. Tolkien in his essay "On Fairy-Stories" (1947), which is in-turn based on a lecture from 1939, is a word to describe a miraculous turn of events in a narrative. You could even say it's a word that avoids catastrophe ;-D The "eu" prefix is from the Greek word for "good".

Eucatastrophes are often swift and unexpected, such as the Prince waking Snow White or the One Ring falls into Mount Doom.



Unexpectedly staying over

Jan. 9th, 2026 02:57 am
silver_chipmunk: (Default)
[personal profile] silver_chipmunk
Woke up this morning at 9:00, when my alarm was set for 9:30. I got up anyway and had breakfast and coffee, then showered and dressed, and went to my hair appointment.

I was early but they took me then, and I got my hair cut rather short, and in layers that brings out the curls. I like it.

Then I went by bus to Flushing and went to the salon where I've been getting my face waxed. I had waxing again, and then I got a manicure. My nails, which I usually have rather long, had broken short over the last few weeks, so obviously she had to cut them quite short to be even. I had them done in a nice purple.

After that I went next door to Duane Reade to ask them what was going on with my glp 1 prescription. I had to wait while they finished their half hour meal break but eventually I asked, and it turns out that they need a prior authorization from the insurance company before they can fill it. So I don't know if I'll bother proceeding with it.

Anyway after that I went to meet [personal profile] mashfanficchick. I took the subway from there, and we met at the bank, where I did some stuff. Then we went to lunch at the Japanese restaurant where we got sushi, of course.

Then we went to the Russian grocery store by bus to get food.

We came back to zer place and watched the new episode of Will Trent. It was nice catching up with it after the hiatus.

Then I Teamed the FWiB from my phone. We talked til 8:00 when we watched 911, and 911: Nashville. Again, it was very nice to see them again after the hiatus.

After that we had dinner, the food we got from the Russian grocery. I had beef stroganoff. It was delicious.

Then we started talking about Arisia. We go in a week from now. We had food to plan, and things to discuss. And the time slipped away, and finally it got to the point where there was no point in me going home so I'm spending the night here.

I texted the Kid earlier with a picture of my haircut, and she likes it. We exchanged a few texts.

I have asked RK to drive me to the oncologist on the 21st, and he has indicated that it's possible if I can get the appointment moved earlier in the day. So I will call tomorrow and try to do that.

And that's about all.

Gratitude List:

1. The FWiB.

2. [personal profile] mashfanficchick

3. The Kid.

4. My haircut looks good.

5. Arisia is coming.

6. RK.

Edited to add: I forgot to say, I called Middle Brother. He is fine, nothing new with him.
[personal profile] einbeistrich posting in [community profile] addme_fandom
Name: Lia

Age group: Late twenties

Country: Born in Brazil, currently living in Germany

Subscription/Access policy: I don't have any locked entries and don't plan on having them. Feel free to subscribe! I'll subscribe back :)

About me: I was born and raised in central Brazil and am currently an exchange student in Germany. My major is Linguistics and Literature. I'm still not sure what career I'd like to pursue - for now, I'd describe me as an aspiring writer and researcher. I'm bisexual and in a long-term relationship. Since 2020, I've been in treatment for bipolar disorder. My current interests include fandom, creative writing, reading (especially Nachkriegsliteratur and Brazilian literature), linguistic variation, traveling, and hiking. I'm a bit awkward, but love to talk and exchange thoughts and interests!

Fannish interests: The usual stuff - reading fanfiction, shipping, fanart etc

Fandoms: I'm currently more involved with bandom (mainly FOB and P!ATD), but still have a lot of love for fandoms I used to be active in, such as Sherlock BBC, Doctor Who, Foo Fighters, Nirvana, and Homestuck. I'm also a Little Monster, a big fan of Fleabag, and into vertical dramas :D (has anyone here watched Pool Boy? Haha)

Ships: Ryan Ross/Brendon Urie, Sherlock Holmes/John Watson, Dave Strider/John Egbert, Dirk Strider/John Egbert, Fleabag/Priest, Doctor/Rose Tyler, Jack Harkness/Ianto Jones, Dave Grohl/Taylor Hawkins, many ships from vertical dramas etc

What I like to post about: I've been mostly venting and talking about my day, but I'd like to post about fannish stuff, other interests of mine, and original works (mostly poems)

Before adding me, you should know: I'm mostly okay with RPF and vent a lot. DNI if your ships involve incest or anything illegal (you know what I mean), or if you don't respect the fact that I don’t like to meddle in other people's drama.

hmmm

Jan. 8th, 2026 12:38 pm
paperghost: (Chill bitchez [AA])
[personal profile] paperghost
Another repost because I have little to say lately, I have a backlog of things in my inbox/DMs and whatnot. lol

@DroptineArt
(archive)
I read this article (and the many others that have popped up recently) and there's a lot of information that's missing that I find perplexing. This article (and the others) insist repeatedly that this is happening in "individuals with no prior mental illness", and yet conveniently leaves out how these individuals are going from their introductory use of chatGPT to the "dangerous" phase.

Our first case says he began using it "for assistance with a permaculture and construction project", but then "after engaging the bot in probing philosophical chats [...] became engulfed in messianic delusions". How did he get from Point A to Point B, and how did these messianic delusions lead not only to a "full-tilt break with reality" but to him attempting to burn down his home and/or hang himself?

Case two details a man who started a "new high-stress job" and began using chatGPT to "expedite some administrative tasks". The article, again, reminds you he had "no prior history of mental illness" and yet insists that acute use of the bot produced "dizzying, paranoid delusions of grandeur, believing that the world was under threat", with no explanation, again, of how we got from Point A to Point B. It does give us a lengthy detail of what his meltdown looked like, physically, though, not that I'm suggesting anything by that.

Another case mentioned details a woman who was on medication for bipolar disorder and began using chatGPT "for help writing an e-book", yet despite having "never been particularly religious", that somehow spiraled into "a spiritual AI rabbit hole", wherein she began "telling friends that she was a prophet capable of channeling messages from another dimension". We are, again, not given information on anything in the middle of this.

I would like to pause at that point and make it clear that I'm critical and yet mostly neutral on "AI" LLM chatbots. I think they are an issue that is downstream of the larger issue that our society is largely atomized and incredibly lonely, and one can't solve the issue of potential psychological harm from chatbots without first solving the problems that lead individuals to use these chatbots in the first place. Society has made it remarkably hard for individuals to have conversations together. It is very easy to go out and be around others, but how easy is it not only to SPEAK to someone but to have them truly listen and digest what you're saying and converse with you about it meaningfully? Until we solve the socially atomized problem, we cannot solve the chatbot problem IMO.

I myself have used chatgpt for advice finding literature to read because google is largely unhelpful now, and have used it as a therapeutic trauma journal of sorts, but I approach it fully conscious that it is a robot designed to validate me first and foremost before engaging in conversation. When I write about the symptoms of my anxiety that day and it writes back "God, yes, that makes so much sense—and honestly, it’s an incredibly insightful observation", I know that that's it's programming. What comes next is a mixture of it's thought processing, which is helpful to digest critically. Perhaps I'm privileged to be able to not see that as grandiose validation, but I will say I've not once give any inkling of support towards anything potentially dangerous.

One could obviously easily argue that that validating and placating individuals can cause LLMs to operate as Folie A Deux machines, taking otherwise "stable" individuals and dysregulating them to the point of psychosis through validation--and I think there's certainly merit to that theory--but I am admittedly skeptical of how many of these articles insist this is happening to totally sane individuals that just coincidentally get to talking about God and ghosts and imaginary friends and the universe and other topics of that nature. I find it hard to imagine someone in the construction field tripped and fell into philosophy and "messianic delusions" with no prior symptomatic issues.

And this is something that we see in traumatized individuals already. They can be functionally "normal" in the sense that they're not actively neurotic and yet can still have underlying issues that just haven't yet become what we'd call fully "symptomatic". It would be amiss to say that they had "no prior history of mental illness". I don't wanna sit here and insist "all three of these people were already having problems beforehand and chatbots simply validated it to a neurotic level" but, on the other hand, I find it suspicious how none of these articles explain HOW the individuals get from things like "expediting administrative tasks" to crawling on all fours insisting your family is in danger. That's not something that a fully neurotypical person is just going to succumb to through validation alone.

I don't want this at all to read like I'm taking a bullet for LLMs. In my ideal world, we wouldn't have any need for them and thus they would not exist. I'm notoriously anti-tech and pro societal regression, but again I think one has to assess the societal structures overall that lead to the popularity of chatbots, IE the degradation of the internet as the "information superhighway" and the degradation of the social environment as pro-conversation. When you cannot meaningfully speak to humans or get answers to your questions, it is only expected that one will turn to technology to soothe these issues instead.

My issue, though, is that we cannot meaningfully solve the problems of technology through fearmongering or misinformation. We have seen this fail time and time again every time a new piece of tech enters the majority population. Article after article about how "totally normal people" are getting "chatgpt psychosis" while failing to explain the pathways in which they're developing this disease does not prevent the issue, nor does it put a lid back on a problem that's already out of our control. I think it's far better to explain instead HOW these problems arise (especially if you supposedly have access to the AI conversation transcripts) and how to meaningfully engage with chatbots if you choose to do so. But that's not good literature. It's far more enticing to treat it like there are theoretical demons in the machine (or literal, remember Swanson's Loab and how people started saying AI was demonic?)

Overall, the cat is out of the bag, and I think one must learn to live with it until it is either put back in the bag or dies of old age. This is the newest form of scary technology after social media, the internet overall, violent video games, etc etc. Insisting "it makes people go insane with no prior conditions" hasn't done us any good societally so far and it surely won't start now. People are going to use these tools and play with them regardless. I think it's a far better duty to teach them how to use it responsibly and UNDERSTAND it than it is to scare them! But that's just me. Maybe the AI's already made me delusional. Who can say.

(Bolded parts are my emphasis)

This sums up how I feel about chatbots at this point. It's one of those aspects of AI/LLMs that I'm critical of, but unlike genAI art/writing, I can't bring myself to care or have a moral stance against. Using AI chatbots as a support is a recipe for disaster, but "socially" it makes perfect sense to.

In my experience, a lot of people are busy, including me. I'm used to being the least priority in my friendships, especially now that I've been single for over a year and don't have opportunities to date. Trying to make new friends is extremely difficult when my age group is married or prioritizes their family. Even with casual friendships, I feel like I can't express my opinions or mention difficult life issues like family or money. (Not to make people help, but to just vent or get it out there that "hey, I may be in a bad mood because of XYZ, nothing personal.") I dislike traumadumping (as in sharing explicit triggering details of things like assault, murder, etc.) but basic venting or expressing stress is considered "emotional labor" to young people. Therapy is expensive and speaking from experience, it really messes you up to have the only space to speak openly be a transactional paid service. Being in trauma therapy for several years retraumatized me and I don't talk about "loaded" or personal subjects with acquaintances, because I have an actual trigger response when told to "go to therapy" as a solution.

So of course a fake chatbot that mechanically acknowledges your messages, immediately responds, has a programmed friendly personality, doesn't judge you, etc., is going to be appealing to interact with. It's really a no fucking brainer. We have no one to blame but each other for this aspect of AI.

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